May 4, 2004
Hard times. All I can say. Remember that entry a while back where I mentioned the Apocolypse? Well, I saw the white flash of light yesterday and now I'm just waiting for the shock wave to run through. It seems that one misunderstood my intentions. My intentions as a friend; my intentions as someone who only loves. I know more than anyone how difficult I can seem to be sometimes. I know how confusing I am. But I never judge a friend. No matter how hard it can be when they have lied,( on a couple of occasions), taken anger out on me,( I know it's unintentional), and totally changed so much,( and many have noticed not just me), that I have a hard time dealing with it. Especially when one thinks they know what I'm thinking. Well, you dont. You dont know what it's like to have to say "Do you see how you are?" "It's not just me." "I'm sorry if I ever hurt you, but you hurt me too." Not to mention, how hard is it do you think to deal with someone who says "I need alone time.." and then says "Why are you never here?" I Told you several times that whenever you wanted less time to yourself, or if you needed someone, I was here. But instead you just went off with others. Great alone time. If you read this, we need to talk.
Posted at 08:22 am by cicada
Apr 4, 2004
Mood- Ready for sleepy time
This was such and awesome weekend! Friday night Elrod, Jack and I went shopping at the over run by nauseating tweens mall. But it was ok, cuz I got a beautiful pink shirt to weat for tomorrow's passover adventure and i got a new plug for my ear (8 gauge), it's hot pink and I love it! We only had 45 to look around so not much was explored, but I did find a The Darkness t-shirt. We all got a call from Indeed about hangin out at Brunette's, so we waited at Brewed Awakenings, played chess and went home when we didnt get a call. It's ok though, found out Indeed's grandfather died, so it's obviously understandable.
Saturday, Elrod and I slept in and then went to practice. It was kewl I wore my new Werner Enterprises trucker hat that my dad gave me and I got a kewl reaction.
:"Awesome hat! Where'd you get it? Gadzooks?"
: "Nope, you can't."
Oh, and the Middletown Transcript interviewed the members of E5 and BombsAway, Drummer's little brother's band. It was cracking me up cuz Elrod had an epiphany that morning and had to wear his green Hawaiian flower shirt. So when dude took pictures he was thrilled. I spent the rest of practice watching Beavis and Butthead and hanging out with Kram and some buddy o'his. Then Elrod, Ptery and Mouse and I went to the mall, meanwhile it's still overrun with disgusting tweens, but I got a kewl shirt from AE on sale and it says Rainbow Lounge...hehe. I also bought some cute black sandals for when it's warmer and I can wear my new skirt. Fun night watchin Viva la Bam and snuggling b4 sleep.
Sunday came and we were an hour late to breakfast dur to the piece of crap daylight savings time. But it's ok. Cuz it always is. Then after Elrod and I dropped Mom off at home, we drove up to Middletown Music 202 and hung out with J. for a while, then headed to the Farmer's market where I havent been in years. We went to the Camo store first where he bought two awesome shirts and i got a blank black and white trucker to decorate. Then, I got the idea on how to decorate it. We walked down to The Sketchery and I got the artist to air brush Element 5 on it in a grafiti font. While we waited for it to be finished we walked around, ate the best pizza of my whole life, got some kewl almond doo-hickies, and shared some cotton candy water ice with my puppy. Then we walked back to the sketchery and watched some of the other shirts and things being decorated. Some were beautiful, some were gay (Scooby loves Alli (Tanira loves Ismael)). yeah...it was fun. I want to go back so bad. I had such a good day.
Posted at 11:34 pm by cicada
Mar 30, 2004
Mood- Remenicent (sp?)
I was just thinking about the wonderful "Welcome Home!" I got from Elrod last Saturday. *sigh* (For all of you with your minds in the gutters, get em out and wash'em off!!) He picked me up that morning after he had breakfast with his folks and we drove to his house to hang for a but before meeting Ptery and Mouse. When we got to his house he gave me the biggest hug and put a record on his turntable. It was O-so-sweet (not like dark meat...hehehe). It was a Billy Joel album and he set the track to Just the Way you Are. *le sigh* A friend's dad told me once that if you play that song, listen to the lyrics, and truly mean them, you found true love.
Well, we danced and snuggled and had the best day together. I modeled for Mouse's photo project, we hung wit da band for a while, went to the gig, and rocked out like the mother fuckers that we are!
Posted at 12:46 pm by cicada
Mar 29, 2004
Best trip eva!!
Mood- Greatest trip evarrrrr!!!
OMG, this was the greatest trip ever!! Did i mention that yet? Well,this is my second time writing this entry so it's gonna be a bit small. Super bonding time, super gay!!, gay fan club, shopping with Nature, burying the WMD, artillary and reingforcements, the inner lumberjack, pokin' sticks r fun, smells like burnt wood, pine needles gallore, frog-frog, when in doubt peanut butter and a duralog, i spy, we're gonna die, dancing to the chix, and Bob's ur uncle...I hate rabbits!!
ps- we also hates Penelope!!
Posted at 12:48 pm by cicada
Mar 12, 2004
Mood- It's way too cold for this shit!
So, as I said in my previous entry, the hort club was going to the Philadelphia Flower Show. And we did. And it was awesome. To start, we didnt leave campus until 5:35 or so, with the original plan being, 5pm sharp. Turns out we all could have fit into the van, but Carrotsticks, Jack, and I all rode with Indeed due to the lack of potential music and conversation. We finally got there and had a but less than 2 hours to check it all out. It was beautiful! Birds of Paradise everywhere!!!! There was even a display with an underwater theme. So kewl. They took cacti
and arranged them to look like coral, there was a boat hanging above us with water light projecting on the bottom, a fishing line coming from it and some of the kewlest fish I have ever seen. As the group got about halfway around all of this, Carrotsticks and I headed for the market looking for food. And did we find some. Oh, yesh. There was a stand with bowls of dips and bread to try it with. OMG, it was orgasmic to say the least. Jack and Indeed caught up with us eventually and the whole group ended up standing around this place eating for about half an hour. We love the jellies so much Jack, Indeed, and I all went thirds on a special they were having so we could each get a jar. I got Russian Raspberry....Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...Love it. And of course I had to try the whole bonsai thing again, so I got this beautiful little Bouganvilla (sp?) that has two different colored flowers on the same tree. Red and Orange. I am going to try so hard with this one because I saw what it could potentially look like when it gets older, and I want that
OK, so after the show, we all go over to this little place Indeed knows called Cosi, and had sammiches and coffee. It was fun. We got to meet her boyfriend who manages a bar and builds motorcycles. He was kewl. I so want to hang out in Philly with this girl. Then Jack and a few of us decide we have to order this dessert where you actually make real S'mores at your table. So fun; a bit dangerous at times, but fun none the least. That's pretty much it, except for having to chase The Nerd down so we can ride home with him in the van, but we wont get into that now.
Posted at 10:41 am by cicada
Mar 10, 2004
Flower show tomorrow!
Mood- I kinda feel like this dancing tomato--->
I am quite excited about tomorrow! The horticulture club is going to the Philadelphia Flower Show
. I can't wait, especially since it's only gonna cosy five dollars as opposed to like $15 or $20. Carrotsticks and I are riding up with Indeed; this should be fun. She is so crazy!
On another note, I was gonna try and gauge my ear again today, but I couldn't find the thingy until a few minutes ago. And now my laziness has set in so Im not sure if I'm gonna...maybe...if I'm in the mood.
Elrod now has a journal that all yous peoples can read. Grady?
Posted at 05:35 pm by cicada
Mar 9, 2004
Mood- Happy wit my puppy
Had a good day today. I went to class, as usual, then I worked in the Ento department for a while and talked to a guy that remembers seeing me when he saw Element 5 last year in a battle of the bands. We talked music, plant science and he wants to see the band again and maybe jam with Elrod. He told me about Cape Henlopen being haunted and all kinds of fun that I didnt know about. I cant wait for spring break!
Then I spent the rest of the day with Elrod; chillin, talking, lunch, and home soon. Ok, I'm done. (Egualmente a mi perrito!!)
Posted at 06:01 pm by cicada
Mar 8, 2004
hard day's night
Mood- Less confused
So, this was a weekend. Not amazing, not shitty, too much thought maybe. After nursing the worst hangover on Friday, I went home and helped my aunt paint my cousin's room Saftey Red. It took forever. But Carrotsticks helped so it was at least fun. (Thank you love!) Then the thinkning began...wasnt pretty. I started having doubts about my relationship with Elrod. Mostly I have been feeling not very appreciated. Sort of taken for granted. I guess it's the amount of time he has to spend with the band, but that still doesnt mean Im not going feel like I'm just there when the band isnt and he needs me. I also started to feel the "single itch." I think I'm over that, but for a moment I wanted to be a free spirit again...no attachments, no worries, just me. Then I thought of what I would miss: the whispers at night, the nights after a gig, the silly dances, the songs, the brittish accents, the puppy faces, the messes, the squirrel chatter, his awesome hair, combing his hair in the shower, riding in the car with no sound but our conversations, the long drives to nowhere, our psychic moments
, spooing him at night, him spooning me, our many different types of kisses, our nicknames, stealing his socks, cooking dinner together, his quick wit, mooching his food, all his goofiness, all our goofiness, the fact that he begs me to sing, la migra, his smell, making love, and the fact that I can't say he ever disrespected me in any way. I think we can see which clearly outweighed which. I love my puppy
. That wont change for a long time. I am so glad that we have the kind of open relationship where I can tell him that we need to change our relationship so that we can be happier, and I can even talk about another guy. I am so lucky to have a guy so kewl and good to me. And even noble enough to want to be better to me.
Posted at 10:57 pm by cicada
Mar 5, 2004
mood- my head hurts like a bastard whore
Too much fun. That's all I have to say.
Posted at 01:47 pm by cicada
Mar 2, 2004
Insects rule!!...no really...they do.
Mood- Entomologically overloaded
Watching- Law and Order
I had one class today, then from 11am until 7pm I worked on my Ento project that is due tomorrow. Yeah, 8 hours researching, sketching and re-sketching 8 different morphological structures in seven arthropods. It doesn't sound too hard but, when the pictures have to fill a good space on an 8.5x11 inch piece of paper and the pictures are only three inches by two inches. But it's ok, cuz It's Cold worked on it with me, so I didn't feel bad waiting until the last minute and I wasn't lonely while I drew, and sketched and drew, and erased...it took forever. However, I think I will get a decent grade. I better, at least. My drawings look really good too. I have to credit myself with a little artistic ability when I look at a couple of the sketches that I did without the aid of the grid. Basically that means I drew them free hand onto graph paper before tracing them onto plain paper with the use of a light board. Go me. I love bugs!!!!
Japanese Beetle Plant Hopper Velvet Ant
(not actually an ant)
Posted at 10:12 pm by cicada